Adventures and close friends mean so much!

Can't quite believe it's been 3 months since my last entry! August and September turned out to be very enriching months with lots of adventures. I coped much better on the reduced dosage of my treatment which enabled me to be able to enjoy a return visit to the amazing Green Man music festival near Crickhowell. This year I went with my great friend S, her husband and 2 gorgeous girls,8 and 10. In fact my fave memory of those 4 days camping (despite very little sleep!)was chilling in a huge Cinema tent with the 2 girls all cuddled up watching the original Muppet Movie which I remember seeing when it came out in the 80s and the children loved it!It was physically more hard-going for me this year and I still had my pleural catheter in place but I managed and it was a great few days with great friends.
There was then 2 days of sheer crashing out and trying to summon back some energy before heading off to Manchester by train for my 4th consecutive to what I think is the best and friendliest piano summer school around at Chethams music school. It was fab to see so many friends from previous years and make new ones - also a nice surprise to find my 15 yr old godson whom I rarely see was there too. I thought I was going to have to leave after just 2 days as I wasn't able to sleep and just had no energy but luckily sleep came and although I struggled physically I loved it as always and amazed myself by managing to pull of a 25 minute recital successfully at 10pm at night - I had to go to bed straight afterwards with awful stomach cramps and exhaustion so missed out on the champagne and chocolates celebrations with my friends in the bar but I was really proud of myself. I was then due to make a live concert DVD recording at 9am on the last morning after a late night following the final night cabaret in which I took part as always. I seriously doubted my ability to be able to get through my 25 min programme again but adrenalin and determination took over and I just went for it and was really pleased with how it went. These days because I don't know how my body's going to respond I find there's not much room for nerves - it's just a case of getting through it and somehow I feel I perform so much better these days than I ever did when I was at music college and at full throttle.I worried so much about little things which just don't seem to matter any more.What matters to me most of all is that I love playing the piano and I want to share my passion with others while I still can. That's why I love the summer school at Chets as it's full of "piano nuts"like me!!
I then had 5 days to recover from Chets before going on my long-dreamed of cruise to the Norwegian Fjords only booked a few weeks before along with my friend J who has also had to live with breast cancer.A cruise was just what I needed. I'd lost quite a lot of weight and had very little appetite at the time but soon made up for it on the cruise when it seemed it was possible to get almost anything you wanted most hours of the day!I loved the whole experience from the surprisingly sunny "Sailaway" Party as we left Southampton complete with cheesy songs,dancing and flags to the magnificent fjords themselves and all the entertainment laid on the ship from line dancing to classical piano,jazz piano to the amazing Gary Barlow lookalike. We ate,laughed,drank and ate some more! It was a great week and meant a lot to me.
On disembarking the enormous Oceana I then was picked up my great old college friend S whom I hadn't seen since my awful year of 2008 when I had a lovely weekend in Glasgow where she then lived for her 2nd daughter's christening. Well 6 years have gone by and she's had a 3rd child and moved back to her childhood county of Dorset. I had a lovely few hours meeting her wonderful family and playing with the 3 children making loom bands and hearing them all play the violin including the 3 year old! My wonderful London friends then picked me up as they were coincidentally seeing friends nearby in Dorset and gave me a lift back to stay at theirs for a couple of days to help restore my depleted energy. I'm truly blessed with my friends and it's been particularly rewarding to spend quality time and really get to know people better over the last few years whilst I've been single.
Although I was pretty wiped out by the cruise I had a relaxing few days in London and was able to spend a couple of hours with my oldest nephew whom I can't quite believe is now 27 but is incredibly mature and a pleasure to spend time with.
It was then back home and I was very glad that I was able to have my pleural catheter removed after 3 months as the fluid was no longer developing beyond a very small amount. We all hope that this meant that the treatment regime was working but unfortunately blood tests and then a recent scan has showed that not to be the case.
I then had 20 friends round for a very happy house-warming party - I'd moved in at the end of June but things had been a bit busy since then! I felt so supported and it was a really happy atmosphere.
During the last week of September Bass (my beloved lab)and I undertook the long train journey with the great help of assisted travel, which was very impressive, to York to be met by my oldest and dearest childhood friend K and her lovely hubbie R to stay in a cottage in North Yorkshire. It was a really lovely and relaxing week. We were able to visit my beloved Harrogate Ladies College where I boarded for 6th form and when we turned up outside the school we were very much welcomed and found it was an Open Day and we had a wonderful tour by a present pupil who probably thought I was so old as I was referring to all sorts of things that no longer exist there. It was really special as I went to Harrogate at a very difficult time in my life as my father had died of prostate cancer the year before and I hadn't really grieved properly at all and was quite an emotional mess inside but the cameraderie of boarding really helped me enormously and I have a lot of special memories from that time. It was also very special to spend a full week with K and her husband. K and I have been great friends since meeting at Sunday school at 5 and our families have become very close friends over the past nearly 40 years and we've been through a lot together and also have a lot of shared good memories.K is one of only a few of my present friends who knew my dad too so that means a lot to me.
I'm pretty shattered after reliving my summer adventures! I've just completed the 1st cycle of a new chemo oral regmie I've been put on and am really hoping there may be some improvement or at least stability showing in my blood test on Wednesday but we're unlikely to know anything concrete till after my 3rd cycle and scan at the end of December for which I'll get the results on New Year's Eve!!
Meanwhile I'm preparing for a piano competition next weekend in London and was very pleased with my 1st,2 2nds and a 3rd in Brimingham in October. I've got a river cruise Christmas Market tour in Belgium,getting there by Eurostar which are another 2 new experiences for me at the beginning of December with another newer but good friend and I've booked myself an all-inclusive spa hotel week in Madeira for Christmas to get away and get myself some winter sun and some "me" time.

Gratitudes and living for the moment!

I'm sitting here trying not to think of what tomorrow will bring and trying to hang on to living in the moment of right now of feeling relatively "normal" despite a mouth full of ulcers and a catheter in my lung and knowing that the last 2 days of enjoying the simple pleasures of enjoying preparing and eating food,even enjoying taking the laundry out and having the energy and motivation to put it on the line,will probably soon be a distant memory as I restart the cancer drug that my poor body has struggled to tolerate over the last 30 or so days resulting in back-to-back very high temperatures which caused me to hallucinate for the 1st and hopefully last time in my life!
It's been a while since my last post and as you may have guessed things have relapsed again for me- just 9 weeks ago ( with the rearing of cancer's ugly head in the lining of my lungs which has caused fluid to develop as a reaction and I've had to have an in-dwelling pleural catheter inseted in my lung and have been able to manage the draining on my own for 6 weeks.
As well as this big shock re-diagnosis just 2 days after a wonderful week in Lake Garda,Italy totally unaware that the reason I was feeling so tired and breathless and coughing like a smoker,I was also in the process of buying a new house in order to downsize,reduce bills and mainly get somewhere without the 22 steps up to the front door whilst I was feeling relatively well or so I thought!!
So after the devastating scan on 30th May,having the catheter inserted on 16th June,getting an unrelated debilitating virus on 17th June I moved house (with support and help of most amazing friends)on 26th June and then started my new 2 tablet combo on 1st July.
It's all been a tremendous shock - I seem to be jinxed as my previous move in 2002 from London to Wales happened the day I was initially diagnosed with breast cancer!!
As all who know me are aware I've always been and am a very sunny-natured person who loves life - much like my father who was  also taken by cancer - but I do have low moments when I think why me and that I can't endure anymore but then there's always some sign or message or encouragement to carry on.
My message was a salient one - last week at the cancer hospital I saw for the first time in nearly 12 years treatment there,a small child of about 3,wrapped in a blanket with a bald head, clearly from chemo carried lovingly by her mother. It nearly broke my heart - they have a separate entrance for the children so that the children aren't so scared by the adults undergoing treatment. I realised in a flash that if I was a mother I would want to undergo the treatment and the disease instead of my child and that if that young child who knows so little of life and should't have to undergo or know the pain of cancer and treatment can endure it so can I.
Without my amazing friends and support network I don't know how I'd have the strength to carry on - to continue to be basically fed poison in the hope that it gives me more time - it won't cure me and I can't help thinking that the last 5 and half years I've had of relative stability might be the last "stability" I'll have but I have to keep hopeful and planning adventures and just appreciate the moments I feel like myself.
It's interesting the people that stay more in the background and those who've known you all your life and just stay in the background. What to say - what to do - none of us know including those of us living with terminal illness. All of us in life just need to value what we have in each moment and really appreciate it. We say often in life "it's never too late" - well unless you believe in re-incarnation or an afterlife - there is a too late. Hold your loved ones close to you and never forget to tell them how you feel about them.

In honour of Secondary Breast Cancer Awareness Day 13th October 2013

Yesterday was Secondary Breast Cancer Awareness Day! I was busy competing in a piano festival in Birmingham where I was thrilled to gain 3 2nd places, a 3rd and 2 4ths in an incredibly high standard competition despite fainting on arriving at my hotel and only just being able to put one foot in front of the other by the end of the competition!!

I've lost many friends this year alone (at least 20!) from this disease, have many friends on ongoing chemo and some making their final journey so today I'm struggling to find the right words so I've decided just to share with you the 500 words I was asked to write in honour of this day for Breast Cancer Care.

There are many people living with this illness and coping every day with the huge impact of this disease. Yes, there have been huge improvements and discoveries made in the past few years but there is still no cure and there are people not getting access to drugs that could help prolong their lives.Support for secondary breast cancer although getting better with charities such as Breast Cancer Care and Tenovus, is still generally very lacking.We can feel like we're invisible sometimes. I look well and like to be treated normally and live as full a life as I possibly can and in fact it's taken the shock of this disease to give me the courage to truly be myself and truly engage fully in life and take life fully by the horns but I know that every day could be my last and I never forget or am able to forget that!On the Pride of Britain Awards last week there were huge applause from the announcements that research is showing that within 15 years there will be dramatic steps forward in cancer treatment and discoveries towards a cure. That's great but will be too late for all those of us currently living with Secondary Breast Cancer - sounds brutal but we need cures now before our bodies get worn out from the years of toxic drugs in our systems. Since 2003 I've had just 2006 free of cancer treatment or drugs and I know that my brain has been damaged but I know I'm lucky to be still here but I'd like to envisage a future when secondary cancer is curable!
My writing for Breast Cancer Care follows below.

If someone told me 5 years ago that I would be sitting here being asked to describe my life with secondary breast cancer I would never have believed it! My marriage had abruptly ended through the stress of my 3^rd and now terminal diagnosis. I was on weekly chemo and had to rely on friends for support and being dragged through a most acrimonious and unexpected divorce and just felt there was little point to my life. I just couldn’t see a way forward and I was only 38.

It’s not been easy and it’s not happened overnight but I’ve learned to adapt to the uncertainty of terminal disease. I’ve been luckier than a lot of my friends with this disease in that since having 9 months of intensive weekly chemo and Avastin my regular scans have been showing stability since November 2008.

Cancer does affect my every day with umpteen side effects from the daily drugs and 3 monthly injections keeping me stable, but I refuse to let it prevent me from having the fullest life I possibly can for as long as I can. I have created a new and most enriching life for myself. I’ve rediscovered my love of music having previously practically given up my beloved piano due to sadness of the illness curbing my musical career. I have joined social clubs where I’ve made the most wonderful friends and it has helped me so much with self-confidence. I’ve found campaigning, fundraising and online and offline support groups so helpful and supportive and it has given me a purpose and something to be proud of.

I amazed myself by modelling in the first Breast Cancer Care Fashion Show in Cardiff a week after my 40^thbirthday and I was thrilled to have been successfully nominated to carry the Olympic Torch last year by Breast Cancer Care. Around 30 of my friends were there to support me and that was such an amazing day!

I enjoy having many short-term goals and events to look forward to. I have to listen to my body and I often have to change my schedule to adapt to how I am. I am lucky to be able to work from home albeit only a few hours and not enough to live on but it helps keep me motivated as I love teaching the piano.

In some ways being plunged into such a scary uncertain situation with my incurable illness has enabled me to feel fearless about most other things. The simplest things bring me so much pleasure. I just feel lucky to still be here. Whilst I have made a tremendous number of friends also living with secondary cancer the hardest thing to cope with is the loss of friends. Every loss feels part of oneself being lost as you know one day that will be you. Despite this I would tell anyone living with secondary cancer to never give up hope and try not to think too far ahead and that life can still be extremely enriching despite terminal illness.

Summer Singalong!

Where on earth does time go!! I've completely failed on my self-imposed challenge of regular blog writing over the last couple of months but I have been more than filling the time with many other amazing challenges.

I was thrilled that the Summer Singalong party I hosted in aid of Tenovus on 30th June, after having the idea on 2nd June at the Hay Festival after hearing Cerys Matthews launch her Singalong book, was a great success despite a very difficult week in the run-up to it when our online support group lost yet another lovely lady and I was very uncertain of numbers and feared it would be a disaster!

It was a lot of work on my own with the catering etc but as I was charging for entry I didn't want to accept help which was a probably a little naive. The wonderful Community Fundraisers at Tenovus,A&V were extremely supportive and printed out tickets,songwords and posters. I was not feeling at all well in the few days before it and stayed up late cooking the night before and was rushing around right up to guests arriving. I couldn't even get out for last minute things as a neighbour's relative had blocked me in by parking in front of my garage! I had to go up and down 3 lots of 20 odd steps at neighbours before I found out who it was and then there wasn't time to go anyway!!

I needn't have worried however,as 13 people came and it really turned into a most enjoyable and fun event and everybody seemed to really enter into the spirit and even the most nervous about singing all joined in with songs from What Shall we do with the Drunken Sailor to Edelweiss from the Sound of Music.I had some wonderful friends who arrived later and sing regularly and treated us to a lovely duet from Les Miserables and a fantastic solo. Thnaks so much J and D.I also played a little myself. My favourite piece at the moment is a wonderful virtuoso transcription of My Favourite Things Everybody seemed keen to have another similar event and I felt the singing really connected everyone and the food helped too!! I had a raffle too and was amazed that the total raised for the even was £200 which I was delighted with for such a small event and thanks so much to all who contributed as there were also contributions from people unable to attend. Despite feeling lousy right up to the event and all my hard work I really enjoyed the event and feel so blessed to have such wonderful and supportive in my life. It also helped me share my love of music.

I'd really like to do another one at Christmas time. There's something so uplifting about singing in a group! The fabulous work Tenovus have done setting up all the Sing for Life Choirs over the last 3 years has helped and continues to help support all those living with cancer and their supporters and give them something really positive and motivating to connect them with others in a similar position.

It's not too late to donate to my justgiving page in my challenge to raise £1000 by the Miss Heart of Wales Final on November 23rd. My challenges go on and I create more! More updates of my summer and latest news follow later!

My best and most loyal friend Bass!

I'm not feeling too great today. No energy,stress of various things and being too busy this week. So still lying in bed after midday I find solace in writing about my wonderful and really special companion,my beloved black labrador Bass who turned 10 on 17th May and I realise with May being so busy for me I forgot to post about the very special celebration we had for this special day.

I never had a dog growing up. We had cats and then only after my sister's nagging my mum and finally wearing her down! I know that my sister was very keen to have a dog and even bought a couple of dog collars - I remember when I was very young - but as mum and dad both worked fulltime and dad wasn't so fond of dogs it wasn't to be. I loved our cat Octavia we had when I was growing up who was affectionate but also independent and aloof as cats can be. I apparently loved our cat Fluffy, who was around when I was born, so much that I was caught trying to stuff her in my mouth when I was a baby!!

When my ex-partner and I were planning a great new life in Wales after 10 years of busy,gruelling London life had taken its toll a dog was high on our list - in fact it was a certainty. My ex had grown up with labradors and we both felt having a dog would really enhance our life and epitomize the more gentle idyllic countrylife we were envisaging for ourselves as we made the move in December 2002.

Sadly I was diagnosed with breast cancer the day I made the move - my ex had already been working in Cardiff for 6 months so life revolved round hospital and illness over the next few months.
However, we were both desperate to still get a puppy and felt that it would be a wonderful distraction from the cancer which was dominating our lives. We did our research and found a lovely family who were experienced breeders but a lovely home set-up in Gloucestershire. The litter of labradors was due in May and would be ready to pick up in early July which would coincide with the end of my chemotherapy treatment. We had requested a boy and really lucky to get Bass as when the litter was born 2 days early on 17th May 2003 there were 5 girls and 3 boys - we were 3rd in line for a boy - but sadly one of the boys died after a few days so we would have missed the boat but another family who had requested a boy dropped out!
When we arrived on a glorious day in July to pick our puppy we had the choice from the 2 boys. I chose Bass as he was the most curious and adventurous and so sweet!!
I remember that first day so well - he screamed like a young monkey nearly all the way back in the car and was promptly sick as soon as we arrived at my ex's mum's home. He then had a wondeful afternoon outside exploring her garden and curious at everything. He didn't understand that the water bowl wasn't for him to walk in an play in and was just so full of fun and playfulness and so small!
I chose his name to be Bass. We wanted a short - easy to shout name - his kennel name was Knocklee Acer and we wondered about Ace and then I came up with Bass (rhymes with Ace!)as a musical name and my ex played the double bass.
The first week we had him and my ex went off to work leaving me with this delightful but mischievous and highly curious puppy I thought we'd made a terrible mistake. There was I,pretty battered(mentally)and exhausted from 6 months of chemotherapy with this little ball of energy who was running me ragged as I was kept on my toes constantly removing anything dangerous or not his out of his sight. I had to physically hold him still on my lap to get him to nap which he needed but was so curious!! My husband would then come home from work and Bass would promptly fall asleep at his feet and he'd wonder what I was going on about!!!

The now 10 year old Bass has just come up and given me a big lick and prompts me to get going and take him on a walk as it's a beautfiul day today. I will come back another time and write more about this wonderful dog who really has saved me from the brink of really awful depression at times and feeling of hopelessness and inability to go on but I'm finding even the reminiscing about the blissful early days emotional.

Bass - you're amazing and more special to me than you'll ever know. I love you more than anything in the world. 

A joyous day at Hay!

On 2nd June I made my 3rd successive annual visit to the wonderful literary festival at Hay-on-Wye.
Although it took me 3 hours door-to door by public transport - driving would take just under 90 mins but can't manage that distance there and back these days - it was completely worthwhile and was a really memorable day!
The sun was shining all day which is a rarity at Hay and made the atmosphere all the more pleasant. This small market town full of second-hand bookshops is visited by thousands of people during the fortnight of the literary festival and yet the asmosphere is tranquil,calm but exciting with famous faces mixing with more ordinary folk! Locals throw open their gardens and homes serving tea and coffee more cheaply than inside the festival. There's a very friendly all-inclusive atmosphere at Hay and is just wonderful to see people lounging in garden chairs reading, adults reading to children and vice-verca,all sorts of talks,music and crafts going on and of course books everywhere!

I firstly went to visit my former head of music from secondary school in Grimsby,Mr Babb who is now 86 and retired to Hay 10 years ago. Mr Babb has been a huge inspiration in my life. To say he's quite a character is very much an understatement! He's always been quite a tour de force! In fact when I first met him aged 9 and still at primary school when he accompanied me for my Grade 1 piano I burst into tears as I found him rather intimidating!! He was and is hugely enthusiastic at fostering and encouraging musical talent in the young. Mr Babb always used to choose very ambitious pieces for both our school and youth orchestras. He was always very eccentric and fiery but we all adored him in spite of this! He believed in us and always inspired us on to make the very best of our talents even though we didn't always appreciate it or agree with him at the time! It was Mr Babb who suggested that I should swap from violin to viola after I'd passed my Grade 6 exam as he wanted to form a string quartet along with my 2 best friends J&C who also played the violin and E on the cello who was in the year below us. It was a good choice for me - I felt more an affinity with the lower sonoroties of the viola and playing in our Dolce Quartet was really great fun. Most of our rehearsals involved a great deal of laughter! I remember one rehearsal when I arrived drunk for the first time in my life at about 15!!!I'd been at my piano teacher's pupils concert and her husband had rather unwisely sent a crate of wine upstairs for the older pupils away from the parents downstairs so I was more than a little merry and had to go straight to our quartet rehearsal (luckily we were just doing it ourselves and no teacher was present!!)and I don't think we got a lot of work done that evening!!
Mr Babb was not great at keeping discipline in lessons but then could really explode when he wanted to! He introduced me to very mature repertoire from a young age for which I'm so grateful as I've just felt classical music was just normal and has always been part of my life. I remember the first time he played us Shostakovich's 8th String Quartet in our O level class which is extremely dissonant and quite raucous and warlike and we all just hated it and couldn't bear to listen to it but it eventually grew on me and I love it now.
I have many great memories of Youth Orchestra with Mr Babb and especially our tour to Germany in 1988 which was great fun.
After having a nostalgic couple of hours with Mr. Babb I went to the first event I'd booked at Hay which was an hour of First World War poetry beautifully and movingly read by Jeremy Irons,Sinead Cusack and a younger actor who wasn't billed in the programme and I couldn't catch his name but he was extremely convincing.These poems of Sassoon,Wilfred Owen,Rubert Brooke and many other poets I hadn't heard of are so poignant and evocative. It called to mind my father reading poetry to me when I was a child and I had a few tears!
As soon as I came out I was in the very long queue for the same theatre for the event I'd booked led by Cerys Matthews which was totally sold out and proved to be extremely inspiring and really joyous for me. She has brought out a new book which is a compilation of well-known songs from childhood and beyond and through the years encouraging the old fashioned singalong which we seem to have lost. She held the whole audience in the palm of her hands for the whole hour getting eveybody singing along enthusiastically to songs such as Oh my Darling Clenmentine,Let's go fly a Kite,Eviva Espana etc. It really took me back to my childhood and reminded me of the joy music has always brought to my life. There's something addictive and really joyful about singing in a big crowd - as if you're all speaking with one voice and all instantly connected whatever your age,nationality or background. I loved it and it made me feel really exhilirated.
I came home totally inspired and immediately made plans to host my own "Singalong" Event to further raise money for the Tenovus Cancer Charity as I suddenly remembered that their special project to celebrate this their 70th birthday year with the theme of "The Big Singalong" to encourage people to get together with friends or colleagues to sing together while raising money for this fantastic course.
My Summer Singalong is next Sunday and I'm already making plans and have several great raffle prizes and have chosen the songs from my treasured signed copy of Cerys's new book Hook,Line and Singer.
Exciting times!

To my Dad!

Mea Culpa and a thousand apologies as I failed to get 4 posts in May! Ultra busy and I was away for quite a bit of it but I will make up for it I promise!!

Today's been a day of tears and sadness partly due to over-tiredness and a throat infection and partly due to thinking of my wonderful Dad who is not here in person for me to wish a very Happy Father's Day so I'm giving him my personal tribute here.

Darling dad,
Although I had just 15 years with you they have filled me with enough happy memories,love and inspiration to last a lifetime and beyond. I have realised more in very recent years how alike you I feel I have become.
I have your ever-ready smile and zest for life,your love of young people and educating them and giving them experiences which will shape their futures.I have your love of planning and carrying out travel adventures and researching them to the enth degree!! I remember all the detail - in days before the household computer or internet - you put into planning our magical trip to Canada in 1981 - I smile as I remember during that trip  the day in New York when you came out of the hotel wearing a stetson and with your huge Minolta camera round your neck saying "I don't look like a tourist do I?"!!! As soon as we got to New York you took us on the Staten Island Ferry and took me on a huge rollercoaster on Coney Island which scared me half to death especially when about a second before the ride started a huge female staff member yelled at me "Missy,take off your glasses!!"
It was you I remember mostly reading my bedtime stories from being very tiny and the dffierent voices you'd put on for the different animals in the Just So Stories which was one of your favourites even though I found it a bit boyish at the time!You'd often make up your own stories which was my favourite thing. You'd sing me songs at bathtime like "Oh my Darling Clementine", "The Foggy,Foggy Dew" and "I am a Musicman!". You introduced me to poetry from an early age which I loved and continue to love. I assumed all fathers read poems to their children! We loved the funny ones especially of A.A Milne,Edward Lear,Spike Milligan and the cautionary tales of Hilaire Belloc. Jim was our top favourite and you were there for most of my recitation classes in competitive festivals from the age of 7 and always told me to speak clearly so that the deaf lady at the back could hear! I always looked for her but could never find her!!
It was good fun when you put me to bed for as well as the bathtime songs,bedtime poems and stories we'd often do the "Ministry of Funny Walks!" inspired by your and my brother's favourite tv programmes "Monty Python". You would have been to proud to hear many years after your death,your oldest grandson doing the famous "Dead Parrot" sketch brilliantly word for word at the age of 6!
It was you who actively encouraged my love of music and encouraged me to take piano lessons from the age of 8. I was very lucky that the piano was already in the household and both my brother and sister had also been taking lessons for several years. Dad never played an instrument or particularly sang(apart from singing to me at home!)but was a music afficianado and listened to a lot of classical music at home. I don't recall that you could read music but I do remember listening to  Beethoven's Seventh symphony with you whilst you were following the score. You also loved the music of Joan Baez,the New Seekers,Nana Mouskouri.
I remember early days of piano practice when I loved you to pretend to fall asleep if I played "Lullaby" softly enough and then to come alive with a bump when I played "Grandfathers Clock!" straight afterwards!
You had a full beard when I was about 4 and I used to love the feel of it and there was a bit that if I touched it made you hiccup and of course I'd keep doing it over and over - so whether it was just for my entertainment or not I'll never know!
When I went to France on my own at the tender age of 11 to stay in the huge chateau with my French penpal with her very scary mother it was you that wrote me several long letters in the fortnight I was there. You told me all about being in London for Prince Charles and Princess Diana's Wedding and what you had seen. You would have been amazed that I was later to be invited to walk behind Diana's coffin representing British Youth Opera along with other charities in 1997.
It was you who queued for over 2 hours for me to get me tickets to see Torvill and Dean skate in Grimsby. You came and joined the family skating club with me on a Sunday night in my early teens and we had great fun. It was you who queued with me for hours and hours to get standing tickets for the equivalent of £1 to see the ballet the Nutcracker on New Years Eve 1982 at Vienna State Opera House.
I had great fun acting alongside you in plays with CADs - Cleethorpes Amateur Dramatic Society and I always loved the aftershow parties you'd take me to from the age of about 12. You even laughed when some of the older teens had spiked my drink with cherry brandy! I remember at the same party spitting out what I'd thought was a grape which turned out to be an olive!! I avoided them for years after that only realising a few years ago that they're actually very tasty!! I loved the bubbly personalities and fun of the CADS members and from a very early age (6ish)remember being allowed downstairs for one of your Cinzano and lemonades at parties at our house. They probably had very little trace of Cinzano but I was none the wiser!
I remember you taking me and some friends to York for the day and having a great time. You were always there - always had time for all 3 of your children and other children as your days of Scout Leader and Youth club leaders showed. You very involved in the local church and helping publish the church Gazette and do the photography for it. Mum's local choir concerts were always a family affair - mum would be singing,you would be helping at front of house and I would be selling programmes and presenting bouquets at the end!

Lots of vivid memories of a very special father whom I remember every day.

Happy Fathers Day!
http://www.justgiving.com/Anne-Shingler2/eurl.axd/8f158799a6747e4fb082e6969278ffe8